I hate these chicks -- Mark

Idol -- it's back!

We're mostly about hating the contestants this year. We hate the nurse chick who ran over an 18-wheeler. We hate flock of seagulls dude. We hate the cowgirl. We like almost no one.

Even the cute wonder kid is annoying.

Will all the Paris Hilton girls and Donny Osmond boys please leave the building?

They're all doing a medley now. Mark says "It's like up with people."

No doubt.
Commercial and ... we're back. Now for the low lights from last week. Most of the performances were totally lame. Jacuzzi did a great Donny Hathaway.

And of course, Golden Child sang a really nice rendition of Imagine. He's so good it's almost like he's cheating. Apparently he won Star Search or something. I'm kind of sick of his oh my gosh thing.

"I like Chaceezi," Mark says.

I'm voting to get rid of Donny Osmond with the Nurse streak in his hair, and the flock of Seagulls guy.


They've started the elimination. Jacuzzi is safe. Dreadlock is safe. The annoying Danny and Donny Osmand are the last two: And Jason/Donny Osmond is oooouuut. Yay.

Next, up, Flock of Seagulls is toast. But first, we have to watch Donny Osmond recap his sucky performance from last week.

(sucky singing and really sucky dancing in progress. Please hold.)

Simon told Donny his problem is that he doesn't really stand out.

"Now he's going to stand out," Mark says. "Outside!"

Commercial and ... we're back.
Time for the chick retrospective. More profound suckiness. We're watching Brooke sing You're so vain.

"You're so suck," Mark says.

Nurse girl gets up with her Cruella Deville hair. I think she is Outski.

Blondie in a blue dress sings unremarkably. A chick in board shorts and heels, Asia'h sings way horribly. She is also Outski.

Hold the phone: My turn to go on Scrabulous.

Wow -- scary nurse chick survived. Chick with the ill-advised board shorts is out.

Cool -- she called Ryan a freak!

She recaps "If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me."

"That's great," Mark says. "You can call them based on just what would be the most ironic exit song."

"How can we let it slip away?" board short sings. "How can we end it all this way?"

Back from commercial ... Lucy Liu and Tattoo girl are safe. It's down to Brittney and the other blond chick who looks just like her. One must go.

Blue dress girl is out. She is crying and crying. "I can't sing," she says. "Sorry."

"But we're both blond!" Mark protests. "This isn't right."

All the girls talk her into singing, so she reluctantly grabs the mike.

"Genius!!!" Mark says. "THIS is why I watch this show."

She sings Hopelessly Devoted to You.

"But now, there's no where to hide, since you pushed my life aside!" Her voice cracks, notes slip. She wipes her tears. "Hopelessly devoted to you!"

The crowd goes wild. Everybody hugs.

"Worth it," Mark says.

Commercial .... AND .... we're back.

Ryan blah blah blah, replaying some "unforgettable" Idol Gives Back crap.

"Why are they replaying it if it's unforgettable," Mark wonders.

...

Boy elimination is between 90210 and Sawyer dude. ...

Dang, 90210 is staying. He's pretty despicable.

Simon tells Sawyer imitator dude (Lost) that he was never authentic. That's his problem.

Sawyer dude sings Hot blooded again (bad again) and the camera pans back to show Paula clapping, and Simon ... bored and texting somebody. Sweet.