Thursday, April 3, 2008

Obama is no Jesus

The other day I was playing cards and glanced up at the TV to see some sportscasters laughing at what looked to be a clip of Barack Obama bowling. I checked it out later and, sure enough, stumping for votes in Pennsylvania Obama had the bright idea to establish his blue-collar cred with a trip to the lanes.

He should have taken a minute to think about whether he could bowl. Or at least asked if the lanes had those bumpers like they use for 5-year-olds' birthday parties.

Gutter ball after gutter ball. Check it out. Pathetic.

Hillary Clinton, no dummy, jumped right on the opportunity, challenging Obama to a "bowl-off" for the nomination, even offering, as Maureen Dowd points out in this excellent op-ed piece, to spot him two frames.

I don't know if Hillary can bowl either, or McCain. And I'm not sure settling the presidency in the alley is the way to go anyway. If it were, I guess my candidate would be Jesus -- no, the other Jesus, from one of the great movies of all time, "The Big Lebowski."

Now here's how to bowl:


Michelle said...

man, that is so fucking awesome. Jesus rocks. I love that scene from Big Lebowski.

Also, memo to Obama: When you roll a gutterball, do not turn around and try to score a high five. When you knock down a pitiful three pins, do not opine "That's not bad." It is bad. Puleeze!

Val said...

If they're going to decide the election in an alley, I'd like it to be behind a bar, with knives. My money's on Hillary in that race -- even if Obama and McCain double-team her.

I was never big on sports, I'm not convinced bowling is one anyway, and I certainly don't care if the next Prez is any good at it. Bush was the guy people wanted at their BBQ, remember?

Janice said...

Bowling for the presidency makes as much sense as kissing babies. I have to say, if a politician is going to try something like this, they ought to know they can do it before the cameras roll. At least Bush can toss out the first pitch from the mound. he said he brought the "high heat" Sunday night.

Mark said...

Good points, Janice and Val. I don't know about Bush and the high heat, though. I saw that pitch -- high, way high, like almost over the catcher's head. The fans booed him, and that was before he even threw the ball!

All this reminds me of the opening of Richard Ben Cramer's excellent book about the 1988 presidential election, "What It Takes." It's my favorite book about politics. The first chapter is about Bush I throwing out the ceremonial first pitch for a playoff game, about all the preparation that went into it, how Bush had been a star baseball player at Yale so he actually knew what he was doing, and how it still went horribly wrong.

You can read the first few pages of the chapter here.

Michelle said...

My favorite part was Bush trying to say it was a good pitch, and the announcers pulling out the white box to prove that it was high and dry. Kind of a Russert moment, only with a ball, instead of Iraq.

mich said...

Great post, Mark, including the videos and the op-ed link. I hadn't seen the dowd piece yet. It was worth the click.

Jason Bellamy said...

Bowling Fans: It's worth sitting through the first 2.5 minutes of this 3.5-minute clip to see The Colbert Report's take on Guttergate. The funny part isn't Obama's performance; it's Clinton's "response."