That's what Mark was thinking the lead characters in X-Files are called, until he bowed to the pressure and went with me to see the new XFiles movie. Now he knows better, but his review was not the best:
"Lucky for them this came out in the same year as The Happening. (beat) At least this isn't the worst movie of the year."
That's the review of a guy who never watched the show once. I, on the other hand, faithfully watched the show from seasons 1 - 3. I don't know how long it went on after that, like most shows, it lost its essence after three years.
So as an old-school X-Files fan (fan boy, Mark sarchastically calls me), here's my review: Good thing it came out the same year as the Happening.
I'm not going to ruin anything here for people planning on seeing it, in terms of story line, but I will say this: silly wooden dialog, shallow and unengaging secondary story line, primary story line not all that either, Gillian way flat, Duchovney, I don't know -- something about both of them just seems to fit better on the TV than on the big screen. I don't need to know that much about their pores.
Final take: The movie was both skuller and muldy. Xfans and non fans alike will probably be disappointed.
Gliomas: 0
"Lucky for them this came out in the same year as The Happening. (beat) At least this isn't the worst movie of the year."
That's the review of a guy who never watched the show once. I, on the other hand, faithfully watched the show from seasons 1 - 3. I don't know how long it went on after that, like most shows, it lost its essence after three years.
So as an old-school X-Files fan (fan boy, Mark sarchastically calls me), here's my review: Good thing it came out the same year as the Happening.
I'm not going to ruin anything here for people planning on seeing it, in terms of story line, but I will say this: silly wooden dialog, shallow and unengaging secondary story line, primary story line not all that either, Gillian way flat, Duchovney, I don't know -- something about both of them just seems to fit better on the TV than on the big screen. I don't need to know that much about their pores.
Final take: The movie was both skuller and muldy. Xfans and non fans alike will probably be disappointed.
Gliomas: 0
9 comments:
Wow, that's harsh. Doesn't Mulder get any points for being hot? I was a loyal TV watcher and had a crush on him the whole time.
Brilliant review, says a guy who saw "The Happening." I saw maybe one or two episodes of the show, didn't care for it, and have no plans to see the movie. Especially not now.
Though I'm curious if the film's screenwriter got as much mileage out of the names as the TV show. Typical emotionless exchange:
- "Mulder --"
- "Scully. Scully?"
- "Mulder."
- "Scully."
- "Mulder? Mulder. Mulder?"
- "Scully!"
thanks for the warning, I will give it a wide bearth.
If we've saved even one reader from seeing this mess then I suppose our wasted afternoon had some value. As it is I've been feeling guilty about contributing to the movie's opening weekend box office. Someone might get the wrong idea.
Here's the only spoiler you need: We paid $16.50 to see the matinee, and that was without popcorn or parking.
Maybe you guys should move here, I saw my movie (matinee) for $4.75.
is that old people prices?
I believe it is also matinee price. I will check. Evening price is $7.50, so I make sure I go during matinee.
Honestly, I've never understood the appeal of "The X-Files." But I'm like that. I don't understand the appeal of David Sedaris, either. Or Barack Obama. Or The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Or Crocs. Or Norah Jones. Or Elton John's career since 1976. Or Belltown. Or white people.
An amendment to previous post in light of breaking news:
- "Mulder --"
- "Scully. Scully?"
- "Mulder...Mulder! Mulder! Mulder! Mulder! Mulder!"
Now I really feel both skuller and muldy.
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