Monday, October 1, 2007

The Hammer, Hammer The

The worst starting hand in hold 'em poker is 7-2 of different suits -- worse even than 4-2 or 3-2, although those cards are lower, because in addition to being low they can't possibly both be used with the board to make a straight. Even a suited 7-2 is better, since at least there is a flush possibility. As the worst starting hand, 7-2 got a nickname: The Hammer. It became a joke among poker players, especially online. If you "drop the hammer" on someone by raising with 7-2 and then win the pot it's considered an especially audacious move. Even if they're not called down, players will often turn over their cards and announce with satisfaction, The Hammer!

When we checked in here at the Westin Bonaventure the other day, as Michelle posted, they put us in a room that hadn't been cleaned yet, so when we complained they moved us down the hall. Immediately I realized that if nothing else I'd be able to remember the room number: 2772. The Hammer, forwards and backwards.

Michelle and I started calling our room The Hammer, Hammer The.

It would be uncharitable and untrue to liken this hotel to The Hammer. There are certainly worse places to stay. But I don't like it much, and I wouldn't return.

The thing about truly bad hotels is that at least they know they're bad; they don't put on any pretenses. This place has the trappings (and price) of a luxury hotel, which it may have been when it opened , but it's really not very impressive. The rooms, even the clean ones, are small and musty, with traces of mold. There aren't enough electrical outlets. The lobby is all exposed concrete, glass and water "features," structured to show off the property's four signature circular glass towers, with the elevators riding up the outside of the building.

It all must have seemed pretty futuristic and cool when it was new, I'm guessing in the late 1960s or early 1970s. So futuristic that a scene from the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "True Lies" was shot here. If memory serves, Arnold crashes a motorcycle through one of the glass elevators, and in fact a plaque in our elevator commemorates that it was used in the picture.

We just ride up the normal way. Maybe the motorcycle would help. Two gliomas.


kateco said...

Dude, you should move south after the big show is over.

Rita said...

As rated by rock stars and guests who stay at the Essex House on Central Park.

Mark said...

Now the Essex House, that was a hotel. I was "the hammer" at that one; the guards kept stopping me and asking if I really was a guest there.